


a million and one universes

by vivalagay



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Fluff and Angst, M/M, OT3, Past Abuse, Road Trips, more tws are written in the a/n pls give it a read, wonhyuk are thieves lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 19:51:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15178091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivalagay/pseuds/vivalagay
Summary: Minhyuk wondered what they were like in alternate universes, if there was a universe where they were college students in a library, if there was a universe where they run into each other on their way to work, a universe where Minhyuk falls into his lap on a bus and they look at each other and know.He smiled at Hoseok in the passenger's seat already drifting to sleep again, head pressed to the window, a hand tucked under his chin, and Minhyuk wondered if there was a universe where they didn't always have to run.or, running was all minhyuk and hoseok had ever known, but jooheon was the one thing they didn't want to run away from.





	a million and one universes

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!!! i wholeheartedly thank my bf lauren for this bc i wouldn't have written anything if it weren't for her ._. i literally wrote half of this a whole damn year ago and just ???? completely gave up and left it unfinished ?? but she motivated me soOOO much and kept making references to this and mentioning my characters and quotes and i've never had that before so bless her soul ._. after my like two-month mbb break i really needed some good love & motivation!!! so here's this ~~accidental~~ long fic of beautiful, angsty polygamy! 
> 
> tws: mentions of past child abuse, past abuse/dating violence, mentions of murder (i fucking guess???), mentions of blood

Hoseok hauled their suitcases from the closet one morning, and Minhyuk didn't bother asking questions.

Each drawer was emptied and zipped away in seconds, like a routine now imprinted on their minds. Minhyuk pulled their clothes from the closet in a jumbled armful, plucking off the hangers one by one and messily tossing their small lives away in duffel bags and hard shell suitcases. 

It made sense to be a little bit more organized with this by now, but leaving always felt like a rush, something spontaneous and exhilarating, with maybe an underlying fear that the adrenaline would wear off if either one of them were left with time to contemplate what the pattern they had once again fallen in.

It'd been over a year since Hoseok bothered himself with unpacking. There would only be a matter of time before he would wake up one morning and just know they've reached an expiration date, or open the door of hotel rooms, rented apartments, with their things thrown on the bed and Minhyuk routinely storing away their toothbrushes and tubes of toothpaste in Ziploc baggies. That could only come in a few months. A few days, even.

But Minhyuk liked unpacking. He liked messily folding their clothes and placing them in drawers that's never really theirs and hanging them in the closets he eventually would have to say goodbye to before he could ever become familiar with it. He liked pushing their luggage underneath their bed, away in the closet, emptied and hidden, like it would be a surprise if they were ever needed and touched again. Yet it was never surprise. They resurfaced one time after the other, and Minhyuk knew he just had to pack and go wherever.

They scurried out into the soft darkness of the morning. Hoseok hurled their bags into the trunk of some awful, vintage car he had told Minhyuk not to bid on (and that he did anyway,) before they briskly climbed into the car together as if there was something they were running from.

"Where are we off to?" Minhyuk asked after some time, when Hoseok started the car with a roar and a staticy, pop song lowly filling the silence. The younger boy rested his head on the window and eyed what had been their life for nearly three weeks. Maybe he was supposed to feel something, but all he could think of was who he had to be now and what.

Hoseok's hair hung in his eyes, a little too long past a trim. Minhyuk watched the way his arm involuntarily flexed as his other hand joined the steering wheel, thoughtful, like he was almost hesitant in a way. "You know," he answered, eventually.

Minhyuk did.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"Really?" Hoseok eyed his boyfriend with an amused smile as he joined him at the cash register with two fingers pushed into his pockets, searching for the dollar bills he always kept crumbled in there. "You can't keep surviving off gummy peach rings."

"I don't see why not," Minhyuk said with a playful look of insolence thrown over his shoulder. He nonchalantly dropped his three bags onto the counter and, with some thought, slid in a single pack of Skittles. "There. Not like you can talk, anyway."

Hoseok really couldn't. Cheap, gas station coffee usually did it on the road for him, which Minhyuk always had something to say about. ("You need food!" he'd complain, like a bag of peach-flavored sugar could really pass as a lunch.) But it wouldn't be that long until they could find some real food, anyway. Hoseok had a knack for finding little diners with old waiters and gentle music. They were his favorite.

Minhyuk always liked breakfast the best where they could sit down at the counter and he could pour a pool of warm syrup on a stack too high of pancakes that a man as skinny as him should really not be able to hold. But Hoseok mostly liked twenty-four-hour diners at night when it was dark and surreal, and they could sit at booths across from each other with brushing ankles and droopy eyelids, scarfing down greasy burgers and fries between low conversations and hushed laughter.

He didn't bother himself with giving Minhyuk a reply and passed off a credit card to the bored student across the counter.

"Hey," Minhyuk childishly pouted, "I was going to pay for that."

Outside, they stretched a map on the hood of their car. Hoseok didn't like using his phone anymore. It was pretty pointless when the only person he wanted to talk to and care about was always right there with him. Minhyuk liked using his phone for games and photos to keep, but he was awful with remembering to charge it. A map was always their best bet. 

Minhyuk pinpointed Los Angeles with a black Sharpie, running the marker along the states with a squiggly line until it reached the other side of the country, circling New York City, and popping the cap back on with the assistance of his teeth.

"If we switch off at least every four hours, then we should be able to travel eight or more every day," Minhyuk calculated under his breath, blond hair tangled in black-rimmed glasses.

Hoseok furrowed his brows at the hopeful smile Minhyuk gave him. "Eight hours? We could go longer than that. Did you miscalculate something?"

"No," Minhyuk slowly replied. "I just think it'd be a good idea for us to take some time for ourselves. You know, here and there."

"For what?”

"Touring cool places? Don't you think we haven't done that enough? And I could buy a new Polaroid since you left my other one in Ohio, and then lost all of our precious memories from before."

"Those were literally just photos of my butt."

"Pre. Cious. Mem. Mor. Ries." Minhyuk tugged his eyes away from him and scanned the map again, as if there was a hidden mistake for him to find. "Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?"

"Babe, we're not traveling across the country to have fun," Hoseok reminded him. 

"Who says we can't have fun?" Minhyuk folded the map and slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans. "Do you want me to bring up Yellowstone?"

"Ugh."

A smile licked over Minhyuk's lips. Teasing and devious. "So," he said, gleaming, "have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?"

Hoseok stared, and then easily gave into his little, devilish smile with a sigh of defeat. "No, I haven't. You know I hate heights."

"We don't have to hike to enjoy it." Minhyuk hugged him, and then squeezed his boyfriend even tighter into his chest at the small groan he gave him. "You love me."

That, Hoseok did.

He softly nosed his boyfriend's jawline, face falling in the warmth of his neck, fingers brushing without ever really intertwining. Hoseok felt exhausted suddenly, like he already just wanted to squeeze himself into the back seat with Minhyuk and rest there with his arms around him. "Okay, I wouldn't mind making this fun," he muttered. "But the Polaroid has to be pink."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Once, Hoseok lived in Arizona. Well,  _stayed_  would be a better word for it.

Two months he rented a studio apartment and worked at the art museum in Phoenix before he became bored with the scene and suddenly decided California would be better for him. 

He didn't know much about the state besides the faded memories of Los Angeles when he was five-years-old and only knew six to ten words in English, so he decided on finding out for himself and left Arizona without a word, off to San Francisco where he was sure the art was more unique and aesthetically pleasing.

That must have been where the wanderlust started. Or maybe then Hoseok only realized that his wanderlust was his to explore.

Maybe it should've been more obvious pinpointing the moment he had a home from the moment he didn't.

Minhyuk knew exactly when he left everything behind—a story he tried to forget of being a sixteen-year-old boy fleeing his home with the wallet he stolen off his uncle. For some reason, Hoseok wasn't sure of his own.

"You know what would be a good place to live?" Minhyuk said randomly. The seat belt was pulled behind his back now, legs pressed to his chest with a jacket he found from one of their suitcases—obviously one of Hoseok's suitcases—thrown over his arms to keep warm from the cool air conditioning.

("I could just turn it off," Hoseok offered before.

Minhyuk seemed annoyed with the idea. "Then the car would just be too hot."

It made sense.)

"Maryland," the younger boy told him before Hoseok was really given the chance to even contemplate an answer.

Maryland — there was no way he would've thought of that anyway. Hoseok tried to think where Maryland even was.

"Why there?"

"Because you never hear anything about Maryland."

Hoseok exhaled a short laugh. "That could mean anything."

"Sure, but we could live in a neighborhood that's nice and quiet, like, you know, for when people are tired of loud noises and want to start living simply."

The car slowed in traffic. Hoseok drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "You want to start living simply?"

Minhyuk stared at the windshield and wrapped Hoseok's jacket a little tighter around his shoulders, probably just to have something to do with his hands. "I don't know," he replied eventually. "I thought that was what you wanted. Isn't it?"

"I don't know."

So, they hadn't really talked about this. 

Hoseok absently tightened his hand on the steering wheel. Maybe this was better in some way. It was one thing they didn't yet know about this new beginning.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

There were a million of other places they could've visited besides the Grand Canyon, but Minhyuk had his heart set on it — just to buy two oversized tee shirts and postcards from a gift shop, and then leave.

("I bought a tee shirt for you too," Minhyuk told him, as if that actually made it any better. There was a pricey iced coffee in his palm that there was really no reason to buy. Hoseok couldn't talk him out of it as he had the sandwich. "You can keep it as a souvenir."

He wasn't interested in a souvenir from where he's lived— _stayed_ —before, but he never told Minhyuk that he's lived there. Not that it was a secret. They didn't keep secrets from each other.

It was just strange thinking of life before each other. Minhyuk didn't like talking about it, and there was so much gaps in Hoseok's life—things that didn't make sense and things he wasn't too sure how it had even ended up that way—that they didn't bother themselves with mentions such as that.

He easily zipped the shirt into a suitcase anyway. It made Minhyuk smile.)

The night pooled in, and Minhyuk was sat atop the hotel bed, hair drenched, the map from before stretched over the bed with the long, squiggly line across the United States black and smudged. A pink Polaroid was around his neck, dangling from a white strap Hoseok surprised him with.

"This was almost one of my favorites," Minhyuk said. A smile of nostalgia tugged at his lips. Hoseok rested his chin to his boyfriend's shoulder, watching as he scribbled two, tiny words into Arizona.

_Silent Appearance._

The painting used to hang in the hallway of an apartment they rented out for nearly a year. An oil painting of an emotionless girl, dark-skinned and innocent, in a backdrop of blackness. It was pretty, captivating, even, if it weren't so ominous. The distorted faces in the darkness seemed to only be in sight at night. Minhyuk always complained about how uncomfortable it made him, yet neither of them ever bothered taking it down until they packed up their things and moved on with their lives.

Now, the painting was nestled in bubble wrap and a toffee-colored blanket.

"I've seen prettier paintings," Hoseok chuckled.

Minhyuk's back pressed into him when he laughed. "You've seen every painting," he told him, folding the map back into its square. Hoseok snaked his arms around him until his belly was aligned with his back. "What do you think the prettiest painting is?"

"Of what we've seen?"

Their eyes locked. Minhyuk hummed.

"Um..." Hoseok brushed a kiss at his earlobe, slowly trailing his lips to his jawline. He smiled. "You?"

The loud laugh he received filled the small room, filled Hoseok. Minhyuk pushed his boyfriend off him. "One day I'm going to leave you."

"No, you won't."

Minhyuk turned to him with a smile, crawling into his lap and pulling long, bare legs to his chest. Easily, Hoseok embraced him. "I won't," he whispered.

The painting could've looked pretty in a museum. Hoseok thought about it for a fleeting moment as they trailed off to the lake — dark and far from the hotel, somewhere Hoseok wasn't really sure how he found — but they were already squatted in the patchy grass by the water, Minhyuk unwrapping the toffee blanket with slow, careful fingers, and holding the painting still for Hoseok to slip into a cardboard box.

"You think anyone's going to find this?" Minhyuk asked in a whisper as if there was anyone to hear them.

The painting slipped into the box then. The cardboard bordered the golden frame perfectly, clad in bubble wrap.

"I don't know," Hoseok replied. He stared at the dark-skinned girl, and Minhyuk gave a slow nod, before helping him place the lid over her. It was like they were holding a gift in their hands. Almost.

"This shouldn't feel strange." Minhyuk was picking at the sparse patches of grass beneath them. There seemed to be a lot of these little things he did distractedly to find comfort. Hoseok paid attention when he busied himself. He liked to surprise Minhyuk with random gifts when he paced rooms too much, or cuddle him a little longer in the mornings when he'd speak too quickly too often.

Hoseok slipped his fingers into Minhyuk's palm. They fixed their eyes on the water, watching the box rise to the surface of the lake, lightly bobbing there in the moonlight.

"I'm sorry."

Minhyuk's brows furrowed at him. "For what?"

"I don't know." Hoseok could feel him staring. His heart thumped with anxiety, some ache suddenly twisting in his belly.

He did know. He did, but he wasn't sure there was a way for Minhyuk to understand it.

A kiss was planted to his shoulder. Minhyuk's lips soft and lingering there until he gave his hand a tiny squeeze and silently rested on Hoseok's shoulder. They watched the painting for a while—their gift to the lake—as it floated, bobbing in a slight rhythm above the dark water, still and really going nowhere.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Sometimes, Minhyuk wondered what he would've been like if he never met Hoseok. He wondered where he'd be, who he'd be.

Miserable? Probably. Minhyuk imagined himself still in New York City. Maybe he would have a shoe box apartment—a different one—where he would live off the paycheck of a barista job somewhere. Somewhere nice and  _Minhyuk_.

He didn't really know what that looked like, though. Maybe it was an identity crisis, but Minhyuk never really panned out who he was. With Hoseok, he didn't need to. He could be anything he wanted and he could play his role well until he could be someone else.

Now, he didn't need to be anything. He needed to be Minhyuk. But it was hard to be Minhyuk when Minhyuk felt like just a space. Empty and lifeless. Insignificant.

"What if we met as different people?" Minhyuk asked when Arizona was just a distant memory. Hours of the interstate laid ahead of them, and Hoseok easily could've been asleep in the passenger's seat just by the way he was curled in, eyes closed.

"Hm?"

"What if we were just college students who fell in love at the library studying for exams?" he prompted. "I wonder how different things would be."

"That's a thought," Hoseok yawned, absently scratching at his belly through a white tee shirt. "We'd probably be really different. As people."

Minhyuk nodded and gave the thought a small smile. He remembered when he dreamed of college. The times when he thought getting a scholarship to some prestigious university would be his escape from his uncle. It was too bad he never got a scholarship, or applied for any universities for that matter. It was too bad he ran off to New York City before he even finished high school.

He would have been entirely different.

"Do you think I could've been something meaningful?" Minhyuk questioned.

"You are meaningful."

"You know what I mean," he laughed. "What if I had friends? Or, like, had a degree in something geeky? Maybe somewhere along the way I would've forgiven my mom and dad. But that's far-fetched. I'm sure they don't think about me anymore."

"You don't know that," Hoseok said.

Minhyuk let out a small laugh. "Maybe I do, baby."

The older boy fluttered his eyes open to stare at the window, and Minhyuk pressed a little harder on the gas, speeding off into another lane without bothering to look over his shoulder. He liked thinking positively. He did, but sometimes certain things are just obvious. As obvious as the fact their only homes are each other.

It wouldn't take Einstein to understand why his parents stopped trying with him. Stopped calling him. Stopped wishing him happiness during the Lunar New Year. Stopped shipping him small gifts from Seoul and snacks that tasted like home.

Minhyuk believed it was hard for Hoseok to understand since he left his parents on his own. Somewhere out there, his mom and dad were probably still thinking of their son. They probably thought he was dead and kept a photo of him in their living room to remember him by with flowers and a bible scripture to keep them sane. Maybe by now Minhyuk's parents thought he was dead too.

"It doesn't matter," Minhyuk shrugged. He intertwined their fingers and gave him a grin, lightly squeezing Hoseok's hand. "It's just a thought, something to wonder about, I guess. I don't care about all that stuff. I care about you."

Hoseok just smiled. "Yeah."

Minhyuk wondered what they were like in alternate universes, if there was a universe where they were college students in a library, if there was a universe where they run into each other on their way to work, a universe where Minhyuk falls into his lap on a bus and they look at each other and _know_.

He smiled at Hoseok in the passenger's seat already drifting to sleep again, head pressed to the window, a hand tucked under his chin, and Minhyuk wondered if there was a universe where they didn't always have to run.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

 _MEMORY BOOK_  was printed on the cover of their photo album in tiny, bold letters, with a little slot for a mini Polaroid underneath it. Minhyuk slipped in a Polaroid picture of Hoseok's ass.

Their photo album was baby blue and small, like a little journal to carry around. Minhyuk found it in a bookstore during one of their stops. They now had a record from the store also, of some band whose members are probably all dead now and neither of the two boys had ever heard of. Minhyuk was pretty sure he left behind his record player wherever they were last year, but he assumed when all the paintings were out of their trunk and Hoseok and him found somewhere they were comfortable, he would be able to buy another one and dance with Hoseok in their living room.

Whatever their living room would be by then. Minhyuk imagined standing in the center of a circular rug, but he couldn't decide whether he would like the space—their space—to be wide or small.

He could always figure that out later.

They were happy once the night rolled in. Minhyuk scribbled onto the map once again with his legs propped up on the dashboard, thinking of the painting they left in the seat of a diner.

"I wonder what the waiter will do when he finds it." Minhyuk tossed the Sharpie and map back into the glove compartment and imagined the waiter taking it to a museum, maybe even hanging it on one of their walls. Maybe in a few years Minhyuk would eat at the diner again with Hoseok and see the painting there.

"Who knows?" Hoseok replied. He started the car, smiling about something. Minhyuk didn't resist the urge to lean over and kiss him. The older boy smiled. "Put your seat belt on."

Then, with the windows rolled down and a bag of peach rings in Minhyuk's lap, they left New Mexico behind.

Minhyuk liked the way the wind beat against his face, tousling his hair and pushing it away from his forehead. He fluttered his eyes closed and felt the photo album underneath his fingers, running them along the ten words there.

(The first page was eventually filled with Hoseok's smile, his thick, suntanned arms in a white tank top, a Polaroid picture Minhyuk had taken of himself with a grin and messy, blond hair, two fingers thrown up into a 'V.' And then a McDonald's iced coffee in his palm, a postcard he didn't have anyone to send to resting in his lap of  _Greetings from OKLAHOMA_.)

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"Ugh," Minhyuk sighed, "there's nothing ever good on TV."

Cold air swept the hotel room. The two boys lounged on the bed, their shoes kicked off, some articles of clothing left on the floor. Hoseok rested with his face buried in the soft pillows underneath the sheets with Minhyuk atop them, scrolling through the minimal channels with a bag of peach rings in his lap. An eight hour drive was usually nothing for Hoseok, but he felt drained as soon as he was able to collapse onto the sheets and close his eyes. Maybe he should cut down on cheap, gas station coffee.

Minhyuk stared at the Lifetime channel for a while, and then, defeated, flicked it off, tossing the remote control somewhere and slipping underneath the sheets with his boyfriend.

"I guess some sleep wouldn't hurt."

"At least it'd keep you quiet," Hoseok murmured, mostly because he was only slightly conscious, though conscious enough to feel the little hit on his arm. His lips quirked up in an exhausted, lopsided smile, and Minhyuk curled into him with a heat comforting and soft, unlike the scalding sun Oklahoma welcomed them with.

"You shouldn't have driven so far," Minhyuk lightly scolded, a hand pushing into his boyfriend's dark hair. A sigh escaped Hoseok's lips at the slender fingers pulling through the strands, slow and gentle. He always liked when Minhyuk did this. "You could've woken me up."

"I didn't want to. You looked comfortable."

"This pain in my neck doesn't agree," Minhyuk laughed and stole a kiss from his mouth, his hand still laced in his hair, fingers gentle along his scalp.

"Mm," Hoseok groaned, "that wasn't enough."

Minhyuk smiled and kissed him again. A little harder with soft and sugary lips. Peach-flavored.

Their legs tangled together, his fingers slightly tightening on his hair, and Hoseok pulled his boyfriend a little closer as much as he could—a smile locked with a smile.

"Delaware. Texas. New Jersey," Minhyuk listed each time their lips came apart.

Hoseok chuckled with a hand finding his thin tee shirt somewhere, their foreheads bumping and Minhyuk's brown eyes so bright and full. "Are we playing a game?"

"No," he bit at his smile, "it's places where we could live together."

"Texas is crazy."

"Texas  _is_  crazy, but we liked Austin, remember?"

"Yeah," Hoseok agreed after some thought. He did like Austin, but he didn't care about Texas, Delaware, or New Jersey; he was more fascinated with Minhyuk's sugary, peach lips. He cupped a gentle hand under Minhyuk's cheek, and he winced, bringing his fingers to the side of his neck. "Does it really hurt that bad?"

"You should've woken me up."

"I'm sorry." He smiled and pulled Minhyuk's hand away, replacing the fingers there with his lips. "It hurts right here?"

"Yes," he breathed.

And he kissed him there again, gently, his lips scattering up and down his neck, flicking his tongue at where he knew it'd make Minhyuk shiver. "So sensitive," he chuckled.

"You're supposed to be resting."

"You don't want me to rest."

"I don't," Minhyuk agreed. Their lips found each other again. Slow and soft. Just the way Hoseok liked it.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Minhyuk was sad.

It was dark again. He sat in a desk chair, spinning around here and there as he tried to keep up with a reality TV show about preachers' daughters. He wanted to hit the road again already, drop off a painting for Oklahoma, and head for Illinois, but Hoseok was still snuggled into the sheets of the hotel bed. Minhyuk decided to let him rest.

He flicked on one of the lamps and snapped a photo of his boyfriend. Hoseok would probably tell him that he's wasting his film.

Minhyuk smiled to himself and flicked the lamp off. He spun around in the chair, pulling his legs underneath him, and set his developing Polaroid picture face-down on the desk.

A sigh fell from his lips.

"Hoseok," Minhyuk sang. A bare foot dropped to the floor, pushing him over to the side of their hotel bed."Hoseokie!"

His boyfriend woke with a start. Droopy eyes scanned the hotel room dopily as if searching for a larger reason for him to not be sleeping right now. Hoseok frowned. "What is it?"

"I can't sleep."

"Is something wrong?" Slowly, he sat up, raven hair scattered over his head into a mess. "Get in bed."

"It's fine," Minhyuk quickly told him. He felt stupid suddenly and turned the chair back towards the TV where the preachers' daughters somehow broke into a fight. "I'm just thinking too much. It's nothing. Sorry for waking you up."

"You should get in bed," Hoseok told him again.

It took a few minutes, but Minhyuk easily found himself crawling in next to him underneath the sheets and underneath Hoseok's arm, resting against his chest where it always felt comfortable. Here, Hoseok kind of smelled like their Little Trees car freshener.

The headlights of a car passed by the blinds of the window. The preachers' daughters were now fighting on the staircase as burly staff members struggled to rip them apart.

"Hoseok," Minhyuk muttered, "I'm not a good person."

"That's not true."

Minhyuk stared at the TV. Hoseok's hand slipped onto his back, rubbing lazy circles there through his thin tee shirt as one of the preacher's daughters was successfully pulled away to aggressively thrash in a staff member's arms. "No," he said, "good people don't kill."

The air conditioning cut off. Hoseok's hand was still rubbing circles through his tee shirt.

"Minhyuk."

"Shouldn't I at least feel bad?" the younger boy whispered. "It's been seven years, and I still don't feel bad. Good people at least regret it, right? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you," Hoseok told him. "Good people don't always have to do good things. Good people don't always have to feel sorry for not always doing good things either."

Minhyuk didn't bother replying. He didn't like talking about this. Himself before Hoseok, his life before Hoseok, how everything that was Minhyuk seemed to be so wrong before Hoseok. Sometimes, he worried that just a few words spoken of it could taint the happiness that they held, rip at their seams. Minhyuk didn't want that.

But it was inevitable thinking of with the two boys heading back to New York. The time when Minhyuk's life pretty much fell apart. More and more memories seemed to brush his mind the further they traveled across America, of memories he never really wanted to return to since he ran away from home, of memories he blocked from his mind so assiduously it felt like they weren't even his when they come back to him.

Hoseok asked if he was okay with it—a while ago when the thought of New York was just a plan and the trip barely felt real—and Minhyuk  _was_  okay with it. Things just got a little weird for him here and there. Eventually, he just has to learn to tolerate it.

He fluttered his eyes closed and listened to Hoseok's breaths, slowing and deepening, his head rising and falling on his wide chest with each one, until his boyfriend's gentle grip around his waist became limp. Minhyuk carefully pulled away and stepped into the pair of sneakers he kicked off at the door.

The stars were hidden somewhere in the city. Minhyuk wished he could see them besides just the city lights a little further from their hotel, right along the highway that leads to it.

He pushed a hand into the pockets of his shorts at the soft glow of a vending machine, and then paused.

Minhyuk could only really make out the figures of two people, and then the person—a  _boy_ —trembling against the vending machine underneath a silhouette barely taller, angry fists balled in his shirt that firmly pin him there.

"I don't know that guy!" the shorter boy stammered. "I don't even know his name!"

"Stop lying to me!"

The boy was yanked just by his shirt before his body was slammed into the vending machine again, flung like a weightless, rag doll. Minhyuk flinched at the cry of pain that ripped through the silent night. It was almost as if it still lingered there, heavy and chilling.

(In an alternate universe—maybe in the universe where Hoseok and Minhyuk meet as college students with simple lives—Minhyuk hoped there he was bold and heroic. Here, in reality, Minhyuk wasn't very brave. He wasn't brave at all.)

He found himself ducking behind the ice machine, heart thumping in his chest so wildly and his breaths so rapid he felt as if he would easily be heard if these two boys happened to fall into a sudden silence.

"Please listen, James," the boy whimpered. "He dropped his wallet when I was coming back from looking for you, and I picked it up and went back in the room without saying anything because I know that you don't like me talking to other guys. He only recognized me just now because of that, okay? I didn't say a word to him before, I swear!"

"He can pick up his own damn wallet! I had already told your ass to stay in the hotel room until I get back!"

"You were just gone so long that I —"

"I don't give a shit how long I was gone! When I tell you to do something, you do it!"

"I know. I'm sorry. I should've listened. I'm sorry."

There was a silence. Minhyuk could still hear his heart in his chest louder than the crickets in the distance, pounding, pounding all over him.

"Get me a Coke. Take longer than two minutes to get upstairs, and I'll beat your ass."

Minhyuk waited until the footsteps disappeared up into a slamming door, then peeked from behind the ice machine. The boy was alone now, squatted on the ground with his face in his hands. He looked so small that way, still trembling, shoulders shaking as if he was engulfed by the cold.

Minhyuk knew it wouldn't be a good idea to intervene. He should just head back into his room, mind his own business. But he was Minhyuk, so he couldn't mind his own business. Maybe it was a habit. Hoseok would probably call it one, say something like Minhyuk always willingly walked into badly judged situations, which was either true or not. He was just always in a place where things happened.

This was just where Jooheon happened.

"Are you okay?" Minhyuk asked.

He jumped at the sound of his voice, falling over onto the concrete and looking at him through wide, puffy eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Minhyuk promised. He tried speaking gently as he lowered a hand down to him. The boy contemplated it as if he were being offered something foreign, and then, slowly, decided to stand on his own.

Minhyuk tried not to feel hurt by it. "You probably won’t believe me, but you deserve so much more than that."

The boy didn't reply. He turned away and slipped two quarters into the machine. His hands were still shaking.

"You seem scared. You shouldn't have to feel that way at all. You should never have to feel unsafe."

"I'm fine," the boy quietly told him before choosing a diet Coke. It was like watching a house crumble as realization washed over him. An exhale escaped his lips as if it were a gasp, hands gripping the frame of the vending machine like it could somehow stop the gray can from dropping. "No — please no!"

He dropped to his knees, resting his head against the vending machine with a fist in the air. Minhyuk expected him to bang it into the machine, but he only rested it there as gentle as ever, breaking into breathy sobs.

"I'm such a fuck up," he hiccuped. "I can't do anything right.  _Anything_."

"Hey, it's okay." Minhyuk tried. But his words were helpless. The boy was still crying, tears dripping onto the concrete, his breaths heavy and uneven.

(And it was like Minhyuk could see that sixteen-year-old boy again. On the highway, the straps of a small backpack on his shoulders, a button-down shirt that hung off his frail body too long and too wide, bruises littering his arms like his skin had captured little galaxies.)

Minhyuk went ahead and slipped in the five-dollar bill for a regular Coke. He was still there sobbing as Minhyuk kneeled beside him, the two cans cold in his palms.

"You can have this, okay? It's all right. People make mistakes."

"I make mistakes all the time."

"That's okay too. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just breathe. You're fine; you can have this Coke."

Hesitantly, he lifted his head from the machine, face wet, tears dripping from his chin, and even then, Minhyuk couldn't help noticing how cute this boy was. His eyes, small and dark, nearly full cheeks, bleached hair styled over his forehead in a messy fringe.

The boy slowly accepted the Coke and scrutinized him uneasily, as if waiting for him to change his mind.

Minhyuk grinned. "There you go."

"Thank you."

"It's nothing. Really." This time, the hand he offered was actually taken. "I'm Minhyuk, by the way."

The boy stared at the Coke in his palm. "That sounds like a Korean name."

"Good ear."

"My Korean name is Jooheon." He looked up at him for a fleeting moment, and then pocketed his free hand. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"You haven't given me a reason not to," Minhyuk chuckled. "Should I not be nice to you, Jooheon?"

"If you knew me, you'd hate me."

"Well, I don't know about that."

Cars zoomed past on the highway, the sound fading the further they disappeared. Minhyuk watched the little curve of Jooheon's lips with these cute dimples suddenly appearing in his cheeks. He quickly dropped the smile at the realization of it, eyes shyly darting away to the Coke in his hands.

"You probably don't want to hear this, but I really hope one day you realize no one deserves to be treated like that. If that guy is your boyfriend, then he shouldn't control you or try to hurt you. He should make you happy. He should make you feel protected."

A tear fell from Jooheon's eye that he quickly wiped away with the inside of his wrist, hands unsteady. He still wouldn't look at him.

"Listen, Jooheon," Minhyuk said with some contemplating. "Me and my boyfriend are staying in a hotel room a few doors down. We've been on a road trip to New York for the last few days, and if I woke him up and told him I'm ready to hit the road, then he would most likely get all of our things and go right now."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Two minutes has already passed."

Jooheon looked up at the top of the staircase. Tears filled his eyes. His hands were shaking again.

"You don't have to go up there," Minhyuk told him. It felt like he was pleading. The mere thought of Jooheon going freely to some abusive, controlling asshole who probably hurt him filled Minhyuk with fear. He knew his name now. That was more than enough for someone like Minhyuk to want to make him happy.

"I do."

Minhyuk frowned. "You don't, Jooheon."

"I do." He shook his head, already backing away. "Thanks for being nice, but I have to go."

What sucked was that Minhyuk didn't know Jooheon, and he knew if he wanted to walk up those steps and let that man hurt him, then Minhyuk really couldn't do anything about it besides hoping maybe some day he would be able to get out of it in a way that wouldn't damage him or anyone else.

But, nonetheless, it pained him. Seeing Jooheon step from him. Away from him and closer to someone so willing to hurt him.

"Me and my boyfriend are leaving at five AM if you change your mind," he quickly told him, because it wouldn't hurt to leave him with something to think about. "We're in room 114."

"Thanks for the Coke," was all Jooheon replied with, the only goodbye Minhyuk was given, before he sprinted for the staircase.

Minhyuk took his change from the vending machine and headed back towards the room. It felt like he never left. Hoseok, resting on the bed, a pillow cuddled to his chest, with the TV painting colors over his still face, barely moved an inch.

He didn't know Jooheon. Easily, he could slip into bed with Hoseok and fall asleep, forget everything he heard and saw, forget Jooheon's shaky voice and trembling fingers, his small, hesitant smile and dimpled cheeks. He could wake up in two hours and head off to Illinois with Hoseok's hand in his, and he could continue his life easily because he  _didn't fucking know him_.

And he tried. He sat on the bathroom floor, the diet Coke sat in the trash, and he tried. He stretched his legs as far as he could until his feet reached the edge of the bathtub, and he tried. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing at the tears that filled his eyes, dragging his fingers through his hair at the belt that entered his mind, the massive, angry fists, the pain. Pain. So much pain. Washing all over him, engulfing him, suffocating him.

He tried until a tear escaped against his will, and he pulled his knees to his chest because they did a good job of muffling every pathetic whimper.

And he felt a silly then. It was funny, kind of, how he really thought he could help someone else when he couldn't even help himself.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

 _"Baby!"_  Hoseok shouted. The shower was running with Minhyuk in the middle of singing some old Britney Spears song he didn't seem to even know the lyrics of. Hoseok honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was throwing a whole concert in the bathroom. "Babe!"

"What?"

"Did we bring any painkillers with us?"

"Probably!"

Hoseok has the most helpful boyfriend in the world, apparently.

He unzipped another suitcase they actually bothered with pulling into the hotel room for any sign of Tylenol, and then sighed, defeated, deciding the bottled water on the TV stand would just have to suffice for the pressure in his forehead.

Sometimes, Hoseok worried too much. Or worried a lot.

It — this kept becoming a bit scarier. A bit more real.

It stressed him out without him really wanting it to. He sort of knew this would happen. Eventually, anyway. Maybe he didn't know he would be in Oklahoma with his boyfriend singing Britney Spears in the shower, but he knew somewhere along the road of running and never really belonging anywhere, they would come to a point where they have a destination. They would stretch out a map on the hood of their car with miles and hours to count. They would plan and for the first time, they'd  _know_  things.

Hoseok knew it would happen. With each time Minhyuk ran off ahead of him in the night, smiling brightly, and Hoseok could only hold his hand and follow behind, he always thought some day they wouldn't just  _be_ , and somewhere along the road, this would become old. Somewhere they would have to move on and figure out their lives—however the hell you even do that.

But it frustrated him how after that everything was left sort of open.

Hoseok wondered if by then — by the end of all this — if Minhyuk would see him differently. If he would sit around with too much time to wonder what he would've been like if he went to college and got a degree in something geeky and lived simply that he would start wanting  _more_. More in life. More experiences, more  _everything_.

He knew Minhyuk could easily have more. Hoseok believed Minhyuk could have absolutely anything he wanted if he went for it.

It made Hoseok sad he was all that Minhyuk got.

The pressure in his head built up more as if he were scrunching his eyebrows too intensely. Hoseok took a swig of the bottled water just as a knock sounded at the door.

Then, his brows did furrow.

It was about four AM. Five AM? Regardless, it was way too early for anyone to be knocking at their door. It did nothing for his headache.

Hoseok calmly sipped his water and waited for whoever to go away, but they just knocked again. Gentle and sporadic, and then gradually pounding a bit harder. Curiously, Hoseok cracked the door opened.

"Hello?"

There was a boy he never seen before of bright, blond hair pushed into a black cap. There wasn't much Hoseok could make out from underneath the low cap or with the sun having yet to rise, but he could see swollen lips, this one side of his jaw discolored, golden stained with a redness that horridly stretched over his cheek.

"Hi," the boy quietly greeted from the crack, "is Minhyuk here?"

Hoseok briefly scrutinized him. "Tell me who you are, and I might answer that."

"Matthew ― well, I told him my name is Jooheon." The stranger looked nervous already. There was a backpack strapped over his chest he absently reached for. "We're friends, I guess. He told me to meet him here?"

"Yeah?" Hoseok glanced at the bathroom door. Minhyuk was still audibly belting Britney Spears from the shower. "Give me a sec."

It wasn't the first time Hoseok met a stranger his boyfriend somehow became acquainted with sometime, somewhere. The last time someone sketchy knocked on their door asking if Minhyuk was there, Hoseok ended up with eight bruised knuckles, though.

Hoseok left Jooheon outside and pushed open the bathroom door, emerging into the humidity. By now, the mirror was fogged entirely.

"Baby!" Hoseok shouted. He drew a smiley face on the mirror. "Babe!"

"What?"

"There's some guy at the door," he told him. "Do you know a Jooheon?"

"Jooheon is here?" The shower abruptly shut off with Minhyuk slipping out to hurriedly dry himself. "He came? I thought that'd be the last time I would ever see him! Maybe I got through to him last night? I didn't think that I did. I literally cried for two hours over that asshole!"

"What? He made you cry?" Hoseok watched, confused, as Minhyuk dashed for the pair of jeans he left sprung out on the bed, and then tugging a tee shirt from the suitcase on the floor.

Jooheon was still waiting, fiddling with the strap over his chest. A small smile tugged on his lips when Minhyuk appeared in the door with sandy hair wet and hanging in his eyes.

"Hi."

Minhyuk grinned. "Hi."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Jooheon pushed a hand through his hair, fingers fidgeting on the table once the waiter left their booth. It felt awkward, or, rather, just unfamiliar having spent so long waiting for his every move to be decided for him that now—sitting at the table of a breakfast joint ordering his own food across from two strangers who could either kill him or throw him in the back of their trunk any second—everything felt surreal, like somehow this wasn't happening to him.

But, for some reason, he felt like he could trust Minhyuk and Hoseok.

Minhyuk had such a bright, warm smile. It comforted Jooheon, even when he panicked just at the sight of the restaurant menu, even as his phone vibrated over and over again in his palm and filled him with more anxiety and more anxiety than before, he just looked up and Minhyuk's smile, curved with sympathy and concern, consoled him.

Jooheon was pretty sure his presence still confused Hoseok. But he was so sweet to him already Jooheon wondered if he really deserved it.

He cleaned the cut by Jooheon's eyebrow before they left the hotel, and although he was still a little afraid of Hoseok, he let him. Everything about Hoseok was intimidating for a while. His muscles, the thoughtful stare he would lick Jooheon over with like he wasn’t sure what to do with him. Jooheon deliberately styled his hair over the scrape to be left unseen, but Hoseok had noticed it even if the bloody scrape was the least of the hideous marks that was left on him.

He still had a bruise forming on his cheek and a swollen lip that slightly went down with the ice Minhyuk had gotten from the machine. His ribs ached too. He was sure there would be more ugly bruises forming there in a few days. Maybe Hoseok will nurse them too.

There was a Hello Kitty band-aid peeking from underneath his hair now—"I grabbed the first one I saw," Hoseok laughed at the look Jooheon gave him—and almost stretching to his temple, adding some sort of color peeking through the blond. Subconsciously, Jooheon touched it here and there, maybe to see if he were actually alive.

"Do you live close to Oklahoma, Jooheon?"

It wasn't necessary tugging his eyes away to know who was speaking to him. Minhyuk's voice was husky and laced with a heavy accent. Jooheon could remember it easily from the first words that he spoke to him. "No, not even close," he replied, fidgeting with the straw of his orange juice. "I'm from Las Vegas."

Instantly, the two boys seemed a bit more interested in him. Hoseok lifted his brows. Minhyuk grinned. "No way."

"Yeah?" He shyly smiled. "This is my first time leaving. But it's only really fun when you're a tourist."

"Is that what brought you to Oklahoma City?" Minhyuk followed up.

"No," Jooheon swallowed, Adam's apple nervously bobbing, "it was actually my boyfriend."

He knew this wasn't anywhere near where he wanted to take this conversation, but Jooheon continued anyway, quickly sipping in orange juice before trailing his eyes to the tedious scenery laid ahead of them.

"I ran away a while ago."

"How'd you get mixed up with him again?" Hoseok questioned, thick arms stretching behind his head. He dropped them into his lap and quickly added, "If it's okay to ask."

"I just felt like I was doing something terrible, packing my things and running off without saying anything. It doesn't really make sense to even me. And, like an idiot, I told him where I was. Now here we are."

"You shouldn't feel bad about leaving him," Minhyuk chimed in. "He hurt you, so you don't owe him anything. Not even sympathy. Fuck him."

"Well," Jooheon uttered, but it was difficult coming up with anything that would make sense. He just settled with a simple smile, like all of this was really nothing. It made it easier. If he brushed it off enough, maybe he would start to feel less pathetic knowing he met Minhyuk whilst sobbing like a complete fucking baby on a vending machine.

He didn't expect either of them to really understand him.

"Anyway," Hoseok smiled into a steaming mug of herbal tea, "you're here now, Jooheon. We're here now. This road trip is specifically for starting over."

"A new beginning!" Minhyuk exuberantly added with an arm thrown over his boyfriend's shoulders.

"A new beginning," Hoseok repeated.

Jooheon smiled softly. "Then what are you guys starting over from?"

It was an innocent question. Apparently, though, it had been an unspoken agreement to not be inquired. Hoseok and Minhyuk shared a quick glance, their lips both pursed, before slowly, Hoseok set his mug to the table. He was smiling again as if there hadn't just been an exchange of a noticeably awkward silence. "I could give you an answer, but I don't think it'd be the one you're looking for."

Jooheon wasn't fond of things not making sense, or stretching his mind to try to understand the underlying, little things in what people tell him. He decided (inwardly since Minhyuk was already squealing over their orders in the waiter's hand, and they were already smiling about other things, chattering silently over everything else) that that was just another way to say they're starting over from nothing.

 

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

There was more space than Jooheon had expected from an old Mercedes-Benz. He pictured something much worse from the whole vehicle, actually. At the hotel, Hoseok had complained all about the vintage car Minhyuk bid on, frowning on one knee as he double-knotted white shoelaces of his sneakers and Jooheon absently reached for the Hello Kitty band-aid on his forehead.

Hoseok told him about how he spent a shitload of money over something terribly outdated, and then rambled in mock anger about the radio they had to fix and the seat belts that were installed to make it legal.

The car didn't have a backseat. Just a long bench behind a wooden dashboard that shined as if it were brand new. Jooheon assumed Minhyuk and Hoseok had been on their own for quite some time. There was only two seat belts in the car, which forced him to squeeze against Minhyuk into one whenever a cop was nearby. He was pretty sure somewhere along the way they would get a ticket and Jooheon would end up dying. Whichever came first. Minhyuk was only so skinny.

"What can we do in Illinois?" Minhyuk asked. They'd been riding in silence for a while after losing faith in finding a radio station that wasn't country. Jooheon untangled his earphones from his pocket hours ago as Minhyuk and Hoseok chatted each other up, all lovey-dovey and heart eyes cuddled next to each other, and Hoseok driving with his knees for at least a good thirty seconds to kiss Minhyuk.

It was strange, kind of, how in some ways they seemed as if they had been together for years, yet they were also like little teenagers blossoming in a new relationship, rose-tinted glasses and all.

Jooheon thought to himself they would just have to give it a little while longer for them to be at each other's throats.

Not that he could ever see their relationship taking the turn that his did. Maybe one of these days Hoseok would drive into a tree, though.

"I don't know. I've only ever been to Chicago," Hoseok replied with some thought, voice laced with the deep bass of a rap song thumping in Jooheon's ears. "Look up a place. I have no idea where my phone even is."

"Like I would let you drive while on your phone anyway," Minhyuk said, ironically. He casually reached over Jooheon's lap and pulled open the glove compartment for an iPhone. "Nice," he muttered at the battery symbol on the screen, "mine's dead."

Hoseok chuckled. "Because you never charge it."

"What about you, Jooheon?" Minhyuk asked, suddenly turning to him. He pulled an earphone from his ear and placed it in his own instead as if to pull himself into Jooheon's world. "You ever been to Illinois?"

"Nah, I don’t travel," Jooheon murmured. "But I was hoping one day I'd go to New York."

"I'm from New York," he grinned, although Jooheon was sure Minhyuk mentioned this a few hours ago. "Sort of, though. I moved when I was ten and I didn't leave until two years ago, so I'm basically from there."

"No, you aren't," Hoseok retorted under his breath. Minhyuk playfully hit his arm.

"Why did you leave?" Jooheon asked.

"I met Hoseok," Minhyuk laughed and gave Hoseok's side a teasing squeeze. He shirked, high-pitched and sharp, and Jooheon couldn't help the laugh bubbling in his throat. "I would probably live there again. Have you seen New York before?"

"My cousin FaceTimed me in Times Square once," he told him, like that actually counted. Minhyuk just shook his head.

"You have to see it!" Minhyuk exclaimed. "If you plan on us taking you all the way, I'm gonna show you everything."

Jooheon smiled and nodded.

Hoseok gave him a quick glance. "Are you coming with us to New York or?"

"I'm not sure yet." A nonchalant response to not give away how much thought he put into it ever since Minhyuk had given him the offer. "But I have a while to figure it out, right?"

"At least eighteen hours, so yeah." Minhyuk returned Jooheon's earphone to his ear and scooted back into Hoseok's side, an arm wrapping around his waist as if it were involuntary. "Let's pretend we have all the time in the world and get a hotel for every state. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we just go to St. Louis? There are a lot of art museums there. We can form a mission to visit as many art museums we can in every state on the way to NYC."

"Art museums?" Jooheon echoed. Just to make sure he heard it correctly.

"We like art," Hoseok said. "It's just an us thing. We can always go somewhere else."

Minhyuk glanced at Jooheon, his chin resting on Hoseok's shoulder. "If we visit somewhere else you're paying for the gas."

"Art museum it is."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Anyone who talked to Hoseok had always been introduced to him as Wonho.

"I'm Wonho," he would amiably smile at all the neighbors he'd just end up avoiding.

"Wonho," he'd tell the young barista behind the counter.

"W-O-N-H-O," he repeatedly spelled, phone against his ear, to another hotel receptionist.

It wasn't always like that. There was a time when Hoseok was just the student of a two-year college. He had friends who called him Hoseok. Professors, baristas, roommates. An old woman living in his apartment complex who happily waved at him whenever they crossed paths at the mailbox.

He was Hoseok. He lived as Hoseok. He was simple and  _Hoseok_.

Only Minhyuk had known Hoseok for so long that it felt a little unfamiliar hearing his name from someone else. But he liked the sound of it off Jooheon's lips. How he didn't have to feel like he was acting, that he was a liar. Jooheon knew Hoseok. A little, maybe, but more than what anyone had known in a while. That was more than enough.

"I met Minhyuk at an art gallery," Hoseok told Jooheon at the second art museum they walked through. Minhyuk had his Polaroid camera strapped around his neck, admiring the art that just seemed amateurish and dull. "It was the opening, so it was super crowded and he was like some volunteer there to set up the exhibit, because Minhyuk always did random things back then. I thought he was amazing."

"Because he was a volunteer of an art gallery opening?"

Hoseok snorted. "No. I just thought he was breathtaking. I was tipsy, mostly, but he's still so beautiful. We hit it off really well."

"That's cute." Jooheon softly smiled. "That makes me think of how my ex told me I was beautiful when we first met."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry." His smile became sheepish. "I'm thinking about him a lot. It's hard not to."

"Oh no. I get it." Hoseok swallowed. He didn't get it, actually. Not really. Jooheon awkwardly turned away and buried his hands in his pockets, watching Minhyuk trail across the room, reading the quotes on the walls. "So, the guy used to be nice?"

"Yeah, he  _is_  nice. He's so sweet. Sometimes he just..." Jooheon sucked in a breath, small and shaky, and let it escape into a huff. "Fuck. I don't know."

"It's okay." Hoseok slipped a hand on his back and let Jooheon rest against him. "You don't have to know. There's no excuse for him putting his hands on you, and you're going to be okay with us, I promise."

Minhyuk was looking at them now, brows furrowed. Hoseok shot him a reassuring smile.

"Hoseok," Jooheon said. So differently. So American-like. "What happened after you talked to Minhyuk?"

"What do you mean?" he quietly laughed.

"How did you end up together?"

Hoseok smiled at the question and gave Minhyuk a glance before he looked to Jooheon again. "We talked for a few months, went on a few dates. Then, I told him I wanted to travel, and I wanted him to forget his whole life and go off with me."

"And he did it?"

He hummed.

"Just like that?"

"I told him that I could make him happy and give him whatever he needed," Hoseok chuckled with the shake of his head. "He packed his bags really quickly after that."

Jooheon softly laughed, the sound so surreal and beautiful in the silence. "A materialistic guy."

"Yup. That's my baby."

"So, did you?" he suddenly asked.

"Did I give him whatever he needed?"

"Well, yeah," Jooheon nodded. They both looked at Minhyuk, his Polaroid camera now in front of his face, held in his large hands. "He seems pretty happy. Did you live up to the second one?"

Hoseok bit at his lip. It was pathetic how his throat tightened so quickly. His eyes all scratchy and fucking betraying him in the middle of an art exhibit. "No," he muttered, and then he'd shot a pathetic smile, some breath of air leaving his lips as if it were funny. "No, I'm afraid I didn't."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Minhyuk stared at Hoseok, his book on his lap and his Polaroid pictures in both of his hands. Hoseok furrowed his brows at him, and Minhyuk slowly shook his head, smiling as he organized another page of his book, trying to decide the ones that were good enough to place in a slot and the ones he'll probably throw away somewhere in one of their suitcases.

"What?" Hoseok smiled, sliding into the nonexistent passenger's seat until he bumped into Minhyuk. They were left alone in the parking lot of a gas station after Jooheon ran off inside to use the bathroom. Hoseok was watching Jooheon a little too closely through the glass walls of the tiny convenience store as the boy disappeared near the rest room sign, worried Jooheon would try to ditch them and run back off to his boyfriend. Hoseok hoped, inwardly, Jooheon would be smarter than that. But of course, in actuality, he didn't even know him.  _They_  didn't even know him.

Minhyuk darted his eyes away when Hoseok caught him staring again.

"What the hell is it?" he laughed.

"Oh, nothing," Minhyuk softly sang, which told him it was anything but. He had managed to fill three pages of their memory book by now. His pictures were becoming more random and meaningless, which Hoseok took full responsibility for after promising to buy him all the film he needed. Not that he regretted it. Minhyuk was very pleased with his Polaroid pictures and developing a book that'll capture their memories. Only his favorite ones were given slots. All the others—blurred shots and random selfies—were tossed away into his bag to just have. Hoseok wondered if he would ever look at it again.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," he replied again, smiling. "I've just known you too long."

Hoseok furrowed his brows, chuckling a little. "And that means...?"

"Liking Jooheon is a bad idea."

"You think I like him? We  _just_  met him."

Minhyuk shrugged. "You liked me from the second you saw me."

Hoseok rested his chin on his shoulder, easily defeated, arms wrapping around his boyfriend's slender waist to pull him closer. "You like him too."

"Because I know how he feels, kinda," Minhyuk said in his defense. "My heart really hurts for Jooheon. I want to get to know him so I can be there for him, you know?"

Hoseok nodded, and maybe that was it. Maybe Minhyuk just liked Jooheon because he could see the piece of himself being the punching bag of his uncle, and maybe Hoseok just wanted to protect him because he knew that part of Minhyuk and spent too much time thinking about how he wished they would've known each other then so that Hoseok could be there to care for him.

It was like he was given the chance to be the hero. All the love he couldn't use to protect Minhyuk then could be given to Jooheon who needed it just as much as he did. 

"What's so bad about liking him?" Hoseok finally asked.

"He's really hurt right now, Hoseokie, and if he's anything like me then he probably feels unloved right now. If we like him and then show it too much, he could get confused. That won't be good for any of us."

"I don't understand," Hoseok admitted.

Disappointment flashed over Minhyuk's face, but then his lips curled into a small smile as a hand came up to squish Hoseok's cheeks. "That's okay, baby."

"How're we gonna drop our paintings off with Jooheon with us?" Hoseok asked, contemplating it with his eyes glued to the windshield. He found Jooheon stepping into the short line from the counter, a bag of peach rings (because Minhyuk insisted) and Coke in hand. "I didn't really think about that."

"Get another hotel tonight?" Minhyuk suggested.

"Right." He nodded and slid over once Jooheon stepped from the gas station, a plastic bag dangling from his hand. It'd been a long day. Hoseok hoped Jooheon would fall asleep at a reasonable time.

"I'm back," Jooheon announced, slipping into the car, "with peach rings."

Minhyuk grinned and softly bumped their shoulders. "Can you stay forever?"

Jooheon chuckled. Hoseok studied the way his dimpled cheeks pushed at his eyes, and he wished it could be a little easier for him to not think of how cute it was.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"There's no way you've been to  _that_ many places," Jooheon gaped. He dragged his fingers through his hair, cap in lap, pushing the blond fringe from the shape of his hat. "Before this month, I haven't seen anywhere outside of Nevada and you're telling me you've been to almost all fifty states?"

"Yeah," Hoseok proudly smiled.

" _Hoseok_ has," Minhyuk interjected, despite having moved so much in the past two years. When they met each other, Minhyuk had only ever seen Korea, New York and Toronto. It burned Hoseok with excitement as they climbed into their first car together with packed bags to go everywhere and nowhere. Hoseok was Minhyuk's Aladdin.

"So, it's like your thing," Jooheon asked, or  _said_ , more so, visibly trying to piece all of this together. He seemed more comfortable in their presence, speaking louder, not avoiding their eyes, less hesitant to open his mouth. Hoseok was flattered he and Minhyuk managed that in under a day. "You're like nomads."

Hoseok laughed. "Sure."

"You probably have so many friends, man. How many people have you had come on the ride with you?"

"Just you," Hoseok easily replied.

Jooheon chuckled and flopped onto the bed across the hotel room. "It won't hurt me if I'm like the one-hundredth. You guys have been everywhere!"

"But it's true," Minhyuk nonchalantly chimed in, slipping a peach ring into his mouth. "We don't have time to make friends. It's always just been us. Now, there's you."

"Oh," Jooheon murmured, eyes wide. Slowly, his lips tugged into a smile, eyes darting between the both of them. "Really?"

They nodded. Jooheon's smile widened, though he sheepishly looked to his lap, trying to suppress it with his fingers helplessly brushing at his lips.

"It sounds sad, but I don't get it. I don't get your motive here," Jooheon said. "You haven't killed me yet or tried to mug me, so maybe you just want me to come along to be good people. But, why me? I'm not special at all, and I could get around on my own. I'll make it somehow, so you don't have to do this for me."

Minhyuk smiled. "Would you like it better if we mugged you?"

"Well," Jooheon chuckled, "that would make a lot more sense."

Hoseok dropped the remote onto the bed and looked over at him, watching the way Jooheon tugged at his sleeves. "I think everyone is special, Jooheon," he told him, hoping his sincerity was at least palpable. "I think everyone is special like how I think everyone is important."

Minhyuk nodded from beside him. "And no matter how many times you try to make us believe you're neither of this, we're just going to tell you to shut the fuck up."

Jooheon's head dropped back into a laugh that Hoseok couldn't help giving a smile to. He looked at them again, eyes squinted and mouth opened with a grin. "Okay," he laughed, "I understand."

"Good," Hoseok smirked. Jooheon yawned then, sulking into the headboard and rubbing his hands at his eyes. "Tired?"

"Yeah," he murmured. It was almost as if he was embarrassed he noticed. "Is it okay if I go to sleep?"

Hoseok frowned. "Of course."

Hesitantly, Jooheon turned the light off, and Hoseok tried to pretend the TV didn't illuminate the room enough to see the bruises on his arms as he pulled off his hoodie.

It wasn't that Hoseok was a good person. Or Minhyuk. But sometimes, with it only ever being he and his boyfriend, he forgot how bad people actually were. That there were people who hurt relentlessly for the hell of it and people who bruise others so badly they're conditioned to fear the consequences of every little choice they make.

Hoseok held Minhyuk's hand in his, and he wished somehow this could help him read his mind. There had to be  _something_ Minhyuk felt with Jooheon having a story similar to his. Minhyuk was so severed from his past from throwing everything away two years ago, and when Minhyuk first opened up to him with a shaky voice and teary eyes, Hoseok promised he never had to think of his uncle ever again.

But Hoseok knew it wasn't that easy. He knew no matter how many times Minhyuk didn't think about it, his uncle still inevitably entered his mind. He knew no matter how vigorously Minhyuk detached himself from the memories that sometimes he still froze at the sound of a slamming door or flinch whenever Hoseok raised his voice. He knew that now he must feel something.

"You know I love you, right?" he whispered after they tip-toed from the hotel room that night, stealing glances of Jooheon cuddled in the blankets, body still with soft breaths and shut eyes. Their task was supposed to be quick. Leave another painting and go. But Minhyuk kissed him when they slid into the seat again, lips hot and fiery as his fingers pulled at Hoseok's hair, and easily, he fell into him.

Minhyuk had already gotten Hoseok out of his shirt and wasn't too patient to get him out of his pants either. It'd been so long, too long. He lifted his hips, letting Minhyuk yank the jeans from his thighs and fall between his legs, peppering kisses all over his skin with a playful smile.

"Of course you love me," he chuckled, hand pushing through the blond bangs that messily flopped back into place. "I love you too. So much.”

"You'd tell me if you're not okay?"

"Yeah.” Minhyuk furrowed his brows at him, lips still curved into a smile. "I always do, baby."

Slowly, Hoseok smiled back before Minhyuk's mouth was wrapped around him, and he couldn't really remember why he was even worried.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn't in the plan to have a lazy day, but as the sun brushed through the curtains of the hotel room and failed to bat even one eyelash, it quickly turned into one. The TV played lowly through a small space of soft breaths and absent murmurs before Hoseok finally peeled his eyes opened. The two boys were too adorable to disturb. Minhyuk's limbs were wildly spread over him and the bed, face buried in the bundle of pillows. Across the room, Jooheon was snoring quietly at the ceiling. His bleached fringe was scattered by then, making him appear somehow even cuter, more cherubic.

Hoseok's heart thumped as he snuggled back into Minhyuk, wrapping the blankets around them and easily falling back to sleep. When he found himself waking up again, Minhyuk was perched up with droopy eyelids and a peach ring dangling from his lips. It was already the afternoon, and Minhyuk thought it would be best to hit the road again. But Jooheon was still in bed, asleep. He had turned over onto his side, legs pulled up underneath the blankets so that he almost appeared in the position of a fetus. The road trip could wait for him.

Minhyuk was sure he must be exhausted anyway, and exhausted was an understatement. Half the day already passed before Jooheon was finally blinking awake, stirring and yawning softly. It took him a few blinks and slow glances of his unfamiliar surroundings before the realization hit him how long he slept, embarrassment dawning on him in flushed cheeks.

Hoseok had to tear his eyes away. Mentally snap himself with a rubberband and remind his heart to not skip a beat at the sweetest pink painted over his cheeks.

He shouldn't like Jooheon. Minhyuk knew what he was talking about the night before, and the last thing he wanted was to confuse him and make things any harder than it already was. It's just ― does he have to be  _so_  cute?

Minhyuk had another "marvelous" idea for the sake of his photo book that ended with them on the side of the highway watching a metal dragon sculpture breathe fire for a few seconds. The shortest seconds of their lives, probably. Only one Polaroid showed for it in which Hoseok was turned the wrong way and Jooheon was flashing an awkward, unprepared smile. Nevertheless, the Polaroid still made it to the book.

Minhyuk kept the second token they bought from the liquor store instead of putting it in the slot for a take-two. Hoseok wasn't sure the Kaskaskia Dragon was memorable enough to keep a souvenir from, but Minhyuk was pretty happy with the thought of creating memories and saving them.

Hoseok wondered what he would do with their memory book once they were in New York. If he would even care about it anymore. Probably not. But he still liked the thought of always having these moments captured somewhere, whenever they want to think of them again. He honestly liked there being something to look back on the time when they started over. When Jooheon came into their lives, whether or not he decided to come to NYC with them.

Still, Jooheon hadn't decided if he wanted to. Minhyuk and Hoseok were hoping he would, but they wanted Jooheon to make the decision himself. Hoseok could tell he hadn't been given something as simple as the will to make his own choices any time soon. This was patently still new for Jooheon, and they wanted him to feel as safe as he could with them. It was the least they could do.

"This is nice," Jooheon murmured to himself as Hoseok headed in the hotel to get their room key. Barely any driving was accomplished before they called it a day in Indiana and Minhyuk booked the nearest hotel. It wasn't like there was a timeline for all this anyway, even though Hoseok wanted to make it to NYC as soon as possible. At least it bought them more time to spend with Jooheon.

Minhyuk looked over at Jooheon, and then contemplated the hotel's entrance shining out at them. "It's surely nicer than the other ones we've been in."

Jooheon gave him a small, humored smile. His phone vibrated on his thigh.

"He's still bothering you?" Minhyuk asked, frowning as Jooheon fished his phone from a pocket in his jeans.

"Yeah," Jooheon sighed, "I guess he misses me."

Minhyuk pursed his lips with a distracted nod. He turned his whole body towards him, tucking a leg under his thigh with his elbow perched on the seat. "You're happy with us, right?"

"Yeah?" Jooheon managed another small smile briefly reaching his eyes. "I think I feel happy. Sorry if I don't show it ―"

"You don't have to apologize," Minhyuk quickly reassured. Silently, Jooheon glanced at the hand Minhyuk hadn't even realized he dropped on his knee. His eyes slightly widened, but he didn't move away. Or even so much as flinch. Even as their eyes found each other in the faint light, a smile naturally slipping on Minhyuk's lips, it was almost as if Jooheon was relaxed with being touched by him. Comforted, even.

Minhyuk already knew he easily had this effect on people, but with Jooheon it felt like an achievement of some sort. The smile that hesitantly spread on Jooheon's lips felt like his medal.

"I wish," Jooheon suddenly uttered, eyes shyly lowering, "we could've met in a different life."

Minhyuk nodded, wordlessly, thumb caressing the inside of his knee.

"That way, I could freely show you how I feel," Jooheon explained. His voice was low, brown eyes soft. A small sigh escaped his lips before he sucked in a shaky breath. "I could be grateful for you and Hoseok without feeling scared. We'd all be... good friends, probably."

"Yeah," Minhyuk smiled. That's all he could think of to say and do with a lump in his throat. 

"I'm sorry that this is how we have to know each other."

"Yeah," Minhyuk quietly uttered again, "me too."

All he suddenly wanted was to hold him. Grip Jooheon gently by the nape of his neck and bring him into his chest, hoping his embrace could make Jooheon believe he's safe and cared for. But Minhyuk only let himself squeeze his feelings on Jooheon's knee and beam at the way the boy seemed to loosen from just a simple touch. 

With half of Jooheon's face illuminated by the hotel entrance in front of them, the marks were almost nonexistent. Minhyuk liked it. In a few weeks, the bruises and cuts will fade. That part of him will disappear. A mere scar left only inside of him that only he can see and feel. Soon, he'd only be visible in the cute, innocent face Minhyuk met that night in Oklahoma.

Minhyuk hoped he would be able to meet the real Jooheon. He wanted to uncover the Jooheon hidden under harsh words and fists and pain, show him it's okay to not hide even when it's  _so_  scary. It was one thing he hoped this road trip could bring them.

"Can I see this?" Minhyuk asked, fingers curling around the phone in Jooheon's hand.

Jooheon's eyes flicked between the screen and Minhyuk a few times, hesitant, before he slowly nodded and let Minhyuk take it from his palm. 

Minhyuk would've liked to throw it out the window. Maybe even rest his phone on the street and drive over it with the car as many times as it vibrated since Jooheon ran away with them.

But he supposed turning it off would just do for now. Jooheon silently watched as the screen turned to black and Minhyuk dropped it in the glove compartment.

"There." Minhyuk shot him a smile as he pushed it closed. "One problem solved."

Jooheon only smiled back before Hoseok appeared at the door of the car with tired eyes.

"Bit of a situation," he began, leaning on the window Jooheon pulled down for him, "the only room available has one bed."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"You know, it's okay if you want me to sleep on the floor," Jooheon reminded the two boys for the millionth time.

Minhyuk was sitting on the bed, legs crossed as he slowly flipped through the pages of his Polaroid book. He'd been contemplating for nearly an hour on what to rearrange, pouring every Polaroid from his bag and sitting in them with a firm face of concentration. Jooheon almost didn't want to bother him. 

"Do you really think we'd let you sleep on the floor, Jooheon?" Minhyuk asked, barely giving him a glance from his book.

"No," Jooheon admitted. He shyly studied his hands. "But, honestly, it's okay if you don't want me sleeping with you. I snore, and it's pretty annoying."

Hoseok nonchalantly waved him off. His hair was still wet on his forehead, wildly scattered over his head in short strands of black. "If anything's annoying, it's how Minhyuk shakes his foot at night."

 _"Yah!"_  Minhyuk looked up with playful pout. "You better watch out or this foot might end up your ass."

Hoseok only flashed an innocent smile before plopping on the bed next to him, snuggling his face into Minhyuk's neck with closed eyes.

"Stop, your hair's still wet," Minhyuk whined. But his hand still rubbed up Hoseok's back even as the words escaped his lips, affectionately smoothing over the muscle there and leaning in closer to him, the two boys suddenly speaking softly in what sounded like Korean.

Jooheon couldn't make any of the words he understood into comprehensible sentences, but from the fond look glistening in their eyes, he could tell how sweet they probably were.

Hoseok and Minhyuk were so unapologetically happy and in love with each other, Jooheon couldn't help feeling as if he was always peering into something that had nothing to do with him. Like he didn't belong here. It was true―at least to him―that he didn't belong with them. They already started a life together. It was always  _them_. Even if Jooheon decided he wanted to stay, there seemed to be no room for him. Where would he even fit?

"Do you want to lie down?" Hoseok asked.

Embarrassment burned at Jooheon's cheeks. Of course they both had to catch him staring at them like a creep. Jooheon had no idea why they were even still trying with him, or even cared about him at all. 

Hoseok didn't wait for a response before scooting over, leaving a wide space for Jooheon to easily slide onto if he wanted. 

Jooheon just didn't want to make things awkward. He forgot what it felt like being at least a little close to anyone, and as he stood up from the desk chair, nearing the two boys with slow footsteps, he hoped he wasn't making this a bigger deal than it had to be. Of course it didn't have to be this nerve-wracking, or difficult or awkward at all. Jooheon was just making it weird, like he had made everything else. 

"I can sleep on the floor if you want me to," Jooheon said again as he plopped beside Hoseok, his legs still dangling off the side of the bed.

A small laugh left Hoseok's lips before he grabbed the long sleeve of Jooheon's hoodie, gently pulling him until he finally brought both legs up.

"This is much more comfortable than the floor," Hoseok told him. With that, he slipped his chin back on Minhyuk's shoulder, watching his boyfriend organize his Polaroid book once again as if it was absolutely nothing having Jooheon sitting on the bed beside them.

So, maybe he was just overreacting. Maybe people did this all the time, and Jooheon just missed out on it.

He stole a few more peeks of the couple before crawling underneath the blankets, slowly lowering himself in to not bother Hoseok and Minhyuk. Honestly, Jooheon was exhausted, even after sleeping for so long. The space felt a little tight and uncomfortable with Hoseok and Minhyuk sitting on top of the blankets, but he didn't want to bother them. It would be too awkward disturbing them, and one thing Jooheon did understand about Minhyuk was that he could be very fixed on one thing when he wanted to. His Polaroid book was his baby.

Slowly, Jooheon turned his back towards them. The lamp shined brightly in his face this way, but he tried to ignore it, fluttering his eyes closed and tucking a hand under his head. If he just rested long enough, he'll soon forget about the light peering into the darkness behind his eyelids and fall asleep. It wasn't a big deal, anyway. Not a big enough deal to bother them.

"Jooheon?"

Anxiety spread over Jooheon's chest like a fire. He pursed his lips, slowly sitting up in bed to look at them. "Hm?"

"You don't want the light off?" Minhyuk questioned, pointing at the lamp on the nightstand.

Jooheon stupidly blushed.  _Again._  Their sensitivity to detail was making his life  _so_  hard. "Um, it's okay if you want to go through your book."

"Oh, Jooheon..." Minhyuk's sentence trailed off with only a frown. But, quickly he smiled, setting his book aside and crawling underneath the blankets. "We should all go to sleep, yeah? I wanna leave early in the morning."

Hoseok pouted. "But I kinda wanted to eat the breakfast at eight. I mean, it's free."

"Fine," Minhyuk said with a playful eye roll. "We get food, and then we leave."

"I love you." Hoseok innocently smiled at him. He had a pretty, gummy smile that sparkled his dark eyes when his cheeks pushed at them. Jooheon loved it. It's the smile that he surprised him (and made him fall in love) with when they first met each other. Hoseok was nothing like how Jooheon envisioned him. Even if his stare was hard then, and his broad figure scared him, Hoseok was so  _soft_. His voice and laugh, all the gentle touches he gave Minhyuk. Everything about him.

Minhyuk ran a hand over Hoseok's damp hair. It had regained its volume by now, falling away from his forehead with the way he combed gentle fingers through it. "You always love me when I promise you food."

"Of course," Hoseok laughed.

Minhyuk kissed him, murmuring a good night against his lips before he turned to Jooheon who was unsurprisingly staring once again. With a small smile, Minhyuk leaned over Hoseok and left a wet kiss on Jooheon's cheek. "And goodnight, Jooheonie."

Jooheon bit at his smile as their laughs rattled through the hotel room. There was no way he wasn't blushing ferociously by now. It was all his cheeks could ever do ― setting ablaze and stretching over his face like wildfire of shame. But damn weren't these boys pretty good at sparking the match.

It would be a blatant lie to say Jooheon wasn't hoping to feel Hoseok's plump lips on his cheek, but the boy only gave Jooheon a kind smile with those pretty sparks in his eyes as he said good night and that alone was enough.

"I can't wait to eat breakfast tomorrow," Hoseok mumbled, snuggling into Minhyuk's side. Minhyuk only snorted in response, and Jooheon turned his back to them, flicking off the lamp and tucking a hand under his head. 

This wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

As Hoseok breathed low and soft in Minhyuk's neck and, eventually, Jooheon could feel that little unconscious shake of Minhyuk's foot as he slept, he didn't mind it. He may even liked this feeling, too. Feeling like he wasn't just on the side peering in with nowhere for him to fit. Feeling as if he was a part of something.

He turned over gently to not wake them, and with the help of the moonlight leaking in, made out Minhyuk and Hoseok's cuddling figures on the other side of the bed.

Jooheon scooted over, closer and closer as quietly as he could until Hoseok's back was right there in front of him. He stared at Hoseok's back, and then how Minhyuk's arm stretched for Hoseok to snuggle in his side. He wasn't sure why he suddenly wanted to be so close to him ― to both of them ― but his hand still lifted, lingering in the air, uncertain and hesitant.

This was stupid. They could get mad at him.

What if they wanted him to leave? What if Hoseok woke up and pushed him away? What if Minhyuk snapped at him? What if ―

Jooheon's hand rested on Hoseok's arm. It was warm underneath his fingertips, so much thicker than Jooheon's hand. He stared, fascinated with himself for even so much as touching Hoseok. So much as being close to him at all.

He wondered how people did this. Being close to someone. He wondered how Hoseok managed to have it in his heart to fall in love with Minhyuk from the second he saw him.

Hesitantly, he pressed his face into Hoseok’s back, letting his hand slip from his arm and gently curl his fingers on the cotton of his shirt. He smelled so sweet, as sweet as he looked. A little of the coconut lime body wash he let Jooheon borrow, a little of the sugary peach scent Minhyuk is always munching on. 

Jooheon softly smiled to himself and gently rested his cheek between Hoseok's shoulder blades. He imagined how comfortable it probably was in Minhyuk's neck, what it felt like to be tucked in Minhyuk's arm, what it felt like to rest on Hoseok's muscular chest, to kiss them, to be loved by them. To love them back.

His face was hot again, burning over his cheeks and neck even with the cool air conditioning swallowing the hotel room.

What an idiot, he thought to himself, imagining something that'll never happen.

But he could still feel Minhyuk's kiss on his cheek.  _Goodnight, Jooheonie,_  he sang in his head, like a replay. Jooheon wished he could record it and listen over and over again, hearing his name roll off his tongue with a sweet, husky voice. Hearing the way the two boys barked with laughter at the blush on Jooheon's cheeks.

_Jooheonie._

No one had ever called him that.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Minhyuk snapped another Polaroid of Hoseok across from him, cheeks full with a forkful of cheesy scrambled eggs in his mouth, and then Jooheon's small smile and fluffy hair behind a cup of orange juice. He beamed at the two developing photographs on the table, tucking a hand under his chin with a satisfied sigh.

"I have the cutest boyfriend in the world," Minhyuk said, flicking his gaze up at Hoseok.

He shyly chuckled into his palm, and then rolled his eyes, silently going for another forkful of scrambled eggs on his plate as if he didn't soak in every single compliment Minhyuk could ever give him. Minhyuk really loved that boy. He did. And he loved how shy he could make him.

Minhyuk glanced at Jooheon as he peeled at a banana nut muffin. "And I have the cutest Jooheonie."

Jooheon laughed. "I'm not cute."

"Yeah, right." Minhyuk smiled brightly at him. "Your squishy cheeks say different."

Blushing, Jooheon hid his face in his hands. It was too easy to get to him, even easier than bringing a dopy smile to Hoseok's face. Minhyuk wondered what he had ever done in his life to be with two soft boys who filled him with so much happiness. He didn't deserve it. He really didn't.

"What's on the agenda today?" Hoseok asked. His two plates were empty now, only plastic utensils and a crumbled napkin left in them.

Minhyuk only shrugged. "Any ideas, Jooheon?"

Jooheon quickly shook his head, involuntarily almost.

"Well, a driving day it is." Hoseok stretched his arms, and Jooheon couldn't help watching the veins visible through his light skin, thickly trailing up his arms and peeking from the short sleeves of a dark gray polyester shirt. He didn't mean to stare, but it always happened that way. Always innocent and unintentional.

Hoseok caught his eyes, and (of course) curled his lips into a smile that Jooheon could only reciprocate with his daft blush. It was happening too often at this point. Almost as if Minhyuk and Hoseok were playing with him. But, well, he liked it. He liked the way Minhyuk showered him with compliments, and he liked the kind smiles Hoseok flashed his way. He really ― he kind of liked them a lot.

They slid in the car once their plates were cleaned and quickly fell back into their road trip with Minhyuk behind the wheel. Jooheon missed his phone, or, more specifically, his music. Everything else he couldn't careless about. Music was the only thing Jooheon really had to comfort himself, the only thing he could hold onto. He felt bare and lost without his earphones plugged into his ears, but he also couldn't stand anxiety shooting through him with each vibration from his phone. And, honestly, he didn't want to shut Hoseok and Minhyuk out anymore.

Even if they had fallen into a silence, the atmosphere was comfortable. He liked sharing this space with them. Listening to the way the car sped down the street, the way Hoseok absently hummed under his breath to an unfamiliar song, how Minhyuk drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, smiling to himself about something only he knew. Every detail was just so natural and filled Jooheon with a sense that he belonged somewhere.

"Is there anything else on the radio besides rock me mama like a wagon wheel?" Hoseok groaned with Indiana behind them.

Minhyuk rolled down the windows with a smile, letting the wind brush through the three boys' hair as his foot pressed a little harder on the gas. "I scanned the radio like fifteen minutes ago," he told him. "It's either this or Christian Rock all the way to Ohio."

Hoseok stared at the radio, and then casually clicked it off.

"There's so little of our road trip left," Minhyuk said, suddenly. He glanced over at Hoseok in astonishment, and then Jooheon with a small smile playing at his lips. "I guess this means you're coming to New York with us, Jooheon?"

"I still haven't given it a lot of thought," Jooheon admitted.

"It's all right if you want to," Hoseok told him. He dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder, rubbing it there gently before (to Jooheon's dismay) pulling it away. "It's all right if you don't want to, too. Whatever you're comfortable with. We could make it to New York today, though."

Minhyuk nodded. "I'd really like to show you Times Square."

"That sounds nice," Jooheon said. He smiled, pushing a hand at his hair.

He would like that. He really would.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

They stopped for a quick bathroom break, which was really just an excuse for Minhyuk to have more peach rings. He grabbed a few soda cans as Hoseok used the bathroom, and then trailed off to the chip aisle. He wondered what kind of chips Jooheon liked, what his favorite soda or candy was. Jooheon's presence was starting to become natural, but there was still so many things Hoseok and Minhyuk had left to learn about him. 

Minhyuk grabbed a bag of Bugles and Doritos, hoping Jooheon would at least like one of them, before running through the candy aisle again and grabbing a few chocolate bars he might like. 

"Why so much?"

The armful of snacks dropped to the floor, soda cans slowly rolling off down the aisle.  _"Hoseok!"_  Minhyuk blurted, voice choked. His hands were unsteady, faintly quivering at his sides. If it weren't for the familiarity of Hoseok's soft voice brushing his ear, he might have shoved him into the case of canned Starbucks. 

"Sorry," Hoseok murmured. His arms snaked around Minhyuk's waist, and it broke Minhyuk's heart how hesitant they were. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm so sorry."

Minhyuk knew he was sorry. He was always so apologetic and heartbroken at times like these, and he hated it because it was never Hoseok's fault. It wasn't his fault that Minhyuk's heart could be faint, that just the slightest of a surprise could have his heart wildly pounding at his ribcage, vigorous and panicked over nothing.

Minhyuk hated he had to be like this. So easily put on edge, so easily prepared to be violent.

"It's okay," he reassured him, finally, voice barely a whisper. His hands were trembling, but Hoseok's warmth and softness easily comforted him as well as it always did. It was one of the reasons they worked so well together. Minhyuk lowered his chin on the shorter boy's shoulder and squeezed him tightly into his arms. "I'm okay. Don't worry. Everything's fine."

Jooheon wasn't in the car once they stepped from the coffee scent of the gas station, plastic bags dangling from their hands. Panic shot through Hoseok like a bullet at the emptiness that met them from the car window, but just a brief search of his eyes and Jooheon was easily found sitting on a bench a few inches from the entrance.

Something was wrong with him.

Hoseok had the image of Jooheon's frightened, unsure face etched in the back of his mind from the second the boy appeared behind their hotel door. The anxious fidgeting, the shaky and widened eyes, disappeared so quickly the more time they spent together in the car and in the restaurant, in the hotel. But―out of nowhere, it seemed―it was like Hoseok was seeing him for the first time again. So confused and scared. So lost.

"Jooheon?" Minhyuk questioned.

Jooheon jumped. His wide eyes darted up to greet them, flicking between the two boys rapidly as if they were strangers.

The small backpack he brought along for the road trip was perched in  his lap. Hoseok didn't understand. Was he trying to run away?

"I was ― I was trying to find my phone," Jooheon uttered, stammering over each word as if it explained away his incomprehensible glances of anxiety, or how he's out of the car, bag in hand.

"Okay," Minhyuk quietly replied with furrowed brows.

"I looked in the glove compartment because that's where I remember you left it, I think? Maybe I remembered it wrong. I don't know. I was just trying to look for my phone. I wanted to listen to music," Jooheon rambled, laughing softly. Nervously. Hoseok didn't miss the way his eyes scanned the parking lot as he spoke. Only the three of them were there. "Music calms me. I just needed to find my phone, that's all."

Minhyuk slowly nodded, even though he wasn't sure what Jooheon was even talking about. He darted his eyes over to Hoseok as if searching for answers, but the older boy only had the same look of confusion to offer.

"Is everything all right, Jooheon?" Hoseok tried.

His eyes widened at the question.

"Um," he murmured, palms roughly rubbing at his jeans―frantic, almost. He swallowed, hard, still searching the parking lot, following the cars speeding down the road.

"Jooheon ―"

"I lied about my phone," he blurted. 

"Jooheon," Hoseok said again, voice so gentle, so soft. It was more of Minhyuk's strength in helping someone unwind, helping them trust him as if he was putting them under a spell. He was sure Minhyuk could comfort Jooheon better than he could, but he was too worried about Jooheon to care.

He was pretty good at it, nonetheless. Hoseok had a big heart that he could show effortlessly, and he wanted to pour it all out into Jooheon to make him feel safe. But Jooheon still jumped when Hoseok plopped next to him.

"Talk to me," he prompted with pleading eyes. "What's wrong?"

Jooheon looked at him, and then Minhyuk. He was so scared that his eyes watered as he opened his mouth to quietly confess, "I saw all the money in your trunk."

"Oh," Hoseok uttered. So, that was good. He wasn't leaving.

But ―

_oh._

"I used my phone to search you guys up," Jooheon continued, breath shaky. "I know everything."

It made sense, and now that Hoseok knew his vulnerability and fear was because of them, his heart ached.

Hoseok didn't know how to deal with this. They let the silence sprinkle in, the realization set around them, and Hoseok hoped Minhyuk would find a way with his good words and amiable personality to make things good again. But Minhyuk could only look at Jooheon with a wide-eyed stare.

Neither of them knew how to make this into what it would inevitably become.

"Jooheon," Hoseok spoke, words hesitant, careful, "what's  _'everything'_?"

"I know about your burglary," Jooheon said, eyes flicking over Hoseok almost as if he was scared of the words even slipping from his lips. He looked at Minhyuk then, scooting further on the bench. "And you ― you're a murderer."

Minhyuk winced. How sharply the word hit him was more palpable than the visibility of pain on his face. Hoseok could feel it beyond the frown Minhyuk wore, feel him recoiling, shrinking into something that isn't himself.

It'd been so long since Minhyuk had ever been  _Minhyuk_  to anyone, so long since Hoseok wasn't Wonho. Being themselves ― it was so hard. So different. But being with Jooheon, it was so easy to forget there was another side of themselves. It was easy to become foolish and believe they could run away from something and it wouldn't catch up to them.

All Hoseok knew was that he couldn't lie to Jooheon. This was simply something they couldn't just run away from, like everything else in their lives. And it wasn't even that Hoseok  _couldn't_  lie to Jooheon; he simply did not want to.

"What were you planning on doing with me?" Jooheon asked, voice small. "Are you like Bonnie and Clyde? Are you going to kill me now that I know? If you'll just let me go ―"

"Jooheon ―"

"As far as I know, I never met either of you." It ripped at Hoseok's heart how desperate he sounded, because of them. Scared, because of them. "I'm sorry that I saw. I'm sorry that I got nosy. Just ― please don't hurt me."

"You think we'd hurt you?" Hoseok spoke. His voice cracked with just the few words, eyes glistening. "You know us, Jooheon; we would never hurt you. You  _know_  that."

"How could I know that?" Jooheon was still shrinking away, shoulders tense. "We don't know each other. We don't know each other at all." 

The words hurt, like two hard punches in the gut. Hoseok could only imagine how confused Jooheon felt, the uncertainty running through his mind, the innate need to run away and find a place that feels safe.

"Jooheon," Hoseok pleaded. His hands reached for him instinctively, and Jooheon automatically scrambled away, breathing heavily, hands shaking. "We don't hurt people, Jooheon. We would never hurt anyone, especially you."

"How do I believe that?" Jooheon asked him, louder. Something was unfolding from him, frustration and fear somehow mixed together in narrowed teary eyes and furrowed brows of something like anger. "You could just kill me right now! You could lie to me like you've been lying this whole time!"

"We never lied to you," Hoseok told him, but he was sure it didn't matter. It wasn't like Hoseok was a good person. He knew it, and now Jooheon knew too.

He wanted to scoop Jooheon's small, shaking figure in his arms, calm him with reassuring words and affectionate pats to his fluffy fringe. He wanted so badly to make Jooheon happy from the moment he washed away the blood from Jooheon's face and placed the Hello Kitty band-aid under his bangs. He wanted so badly to be the person who he always wanted to be, and he wanted so badly to be that person for Jooheon.

"Minhyuk isn't a murderer," Hoseok said, because even if it didn't matter in the end, it mattered to him that Jooheon knew who they were. Even if he didn't like it. Even if he decided to hate them and ran away. "But it's true about my charges. I haven't done a lot of good things. Neither of us have."

Minhyuk was still silent. He stared, blankly, with a lost glaze, a glint in his eyes of sadness and shame.

"The story I told you about meeting Minhyuk," Hoseok continued with careful words, "I told him I could give him everything he needed for a reason."

Jooheon frowned. "So, you stole?"

"Well, yes, but," Hoseok sighed, blinking around the tears pricking at his eyes, "it's not that simple."

"How?"

Hoseok sucked in a deep breath. "I've stolen a lot of art. It just eventually became a me and Minhyuk thing because he loved me and because I'm a selfish person. There was no reason to steal. I stole because I could. Because there was art that I liked, and I wanted it to be mine. Because I loved the adrenaline I felt when I took risks, and I liked that I could get rich whenever I was ready to let art go.

But things are different. I don't like taking. I don't like lying. I don't like pretending to be someone or something that I'm not; I never did. This road trip is for starting over, and we just want so badly to have that."

Jooheon scrutinized him, processing his words, and then looked up at Minhyuk with pursed lips.

"Honestly, I get it if you hate me," Hoseok admitted, "but please don't hate Minhyuk. He isn't selfish like me. He didn't ask for this."

"Yes, I did," Minhyuk suddenly spoke. He plopped down on the bench next to Hoseok, setting the plastic bags aside. "I'm not going to let you paint yourself to be the bad guy, Hoseok. I wasn't a good person even before I met you."

Hoseok quickly shook his head. "You've always been a good person. I was just selfish and made you into something that you're not. You deserve so much better ―"

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't deserve you at all. You made me happy, Hoseokie," Minhyuk argued, voice firm and wholesome. He took Hoseok by the hands, squeezing them gently. "You've never made me do anything I didn't want to. Don't downplay yourself like you're the only one with faults. Obviously, I have my own. I had them way before you."

Hoseok didn't realize the warm tears pouring down his face until Minhyuk wiped them away with the pads of his fingers, smiling softly at him. Minhyuk always knew how to make things better. His fingertips were gold, it seemed.

"I ―" Minhyuk suddenly stammered. He licked at his lips, sad eyes glued on his hands fidgeting with Hoseok's fingers. "You're not wrong about me, Jooheon."

Jooheon's breath hitched. He pursed his lips, waiting for an explanation, although his eyes shook like he would rather get up and take off without one.

"My life ― the time before I met Hoseok was really hard." He swallowed, anxious, lips trembling as he spoke. "When I came to America, I lived with my uncle who treated me like nothing. I don't know why he hated me so much. I don't know why I was nothing more than just something to hit and shove around. I was just a punching bag to him and nothing else."

His eyes filled with tears, but Minhyuk could hold them better than Hoseok could. He sniffed, blinking around them, swallowing hard at the lump in his throat.

"I could do the littlest things and he would attack me, or lock me in my room until he felt I deserved to come out. I was so tired of it. I was tired of being treated like nothing." Hoseok gripped him by his quivering hands, holding them tightly. "It wasn't a plan, just something I thought about sometimes, I guess. I just kept thinking of how fed up I was, and one day, he tried to beat me with a belt and something just snapped inside of me. One second he was coming for me up the staircase, the next... he was at the bottom of it."

Jooheon chewed his lips. It was hard to read him, to know what he thought of Minhyuk now that he knew he wasn't the happy, soft boy he thought he was.

"I was ruled not guilty, but I'm not going to lie to you and say I did it solely because I wanted to protect myself," Minhyuk said. "It's an instinct, of course, to protect yourself, but I hated him. I really did. Sometimes, I'm not even sure if I shoved him because I didn't want him to hit me, or if I shoved him because I just hated him so much. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I mean it when I say I don't lie to people I care about."

They fell into a silence. Each second that only passed with Jooheon's blank stare, it felt like the further Jooheon slipped away from them, right past their fingertips. Out of reach.

There was so much new information he had to deal with, floating in his head, trying to make sense of it. Hoseok and Minhyuk ― the only two people who had showed him any love, any form of affection ― weren't even who he thought they were. It was like new people had sprouted in front of him. Two people who only felt familiar.

"I'm sorry if we're not who you wanted us to be," Hoseok whimpered, voice choked and tight. Thick tears rolled down his cheeks that Minhyuk briskly swiped away from his chin, patting a gentle hand to his back. "I'm so sorry. But I like you, Jooheon. We both do. And we care about you so much. We don't want you to hate us."

"I don't want to hate you either," Jooheon shakily uttered. His fingers fidgeted with the strap of his backpack as he looked at them with sad eyes. "Guys, I don't have anyone anymore. I don't have anywhere to go, or anyone to trust. You both are all I have, and I can't ― I need to trust you. I need to feel safe."

"We want to keep you safe," Minhyuk pleaded. He reached over to rest a hand on his thigh, and Jooheon let him. "We want to keep you safe like before."

Jooheon scrutinized Minhyuk's hand, and then looked to Hoseok who was still sniffling from his tears. "Don't let me down," he said. "Please."

"We won't," Minhyuk promised, and with a gentle squeeze to his leg, he smiled.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

The air was cooler, unlike the one-hundred degrees of summer Jooheon was used to on the other side of the country. Rain smeared the faint glints of the city from the car window. Jooheon watched the way it dashed through the streets between red brake lights and taxis in small, scattered droplets. He could almost see the city from their place in traffic. Tall buildings and vibrant lights flooding through the dark sky that almost reminded him of the strip back home. 

There was barely any rain in Las Vegas. Jooheon was pretty sure he wasn't a fan of rain, but here, he liked the way it sprinkled down softly like it was welcoming him.

"It feels like forever since I've been here," Hoseok murmured, staring through the windshield with nostalgia. "Even from here, things still look the same."

"It'll always look the same," Minhyuk easily defended. He smiled at Jooheon as he rested on his shoulder, gently pulling his arm into his chest. "You're gonna love it here! You have to eat at my favorite pizza place, and then we're going to go shopping. I'll show you all the best places."

Jooheon gave him a small smile. He was always fascinated with the way they inflicted their affection on him. Even the slightest of touches tingled his skin, filling him with a tinge of warmth he hadn't felt in a while. 

"And you'll show me Times Square, right?"

Minhyuk quickly nodded, playfully poking his nose. "That's what I want to show you first."

The view from their hotel room was blocked by the floor of a tall building that poured a bright light into the opening of the window. It was almost like night didn't exist with the way everything lit up. He wondered what it was like having a life here and not just being the one exploring it.

At home, he was always on the other side of tourism, annoyed with having to live in a place everyone only came to make mistakes. He wondered what Hoseok and Minhyuk were like here. How they lived their lives two years ago before they hadn't met each other. They were so inseparable now, so in love with each other it was almost like they had no idea what it was like to be alone.

"How far away did you live from here?" Jooheon asked when Minhyuk plopped down alongside him, tugging a clean shirt over his head. "When ― you know."

"Hours away," Minhyuk replied. He smiled, briefly, clinging his body onto Jooheon's arm again. "I was closer to Canada back then."

"Isn't it hard?" Minhyuk only blinked at him. "With the memories, I mean... doesn't it hurt to be in New York again?"

His face fell. Jooheon watched the way his eyes trailed to the sprinkling window with pursed lips, and he wished he hadn't saying anything at all. Hoseok slipped on the bed beside Jooheon with a comforting hand instantly reaching over to smooth down Minhyuk's back.

"I'm sorry," Jooheon whispered.

"No, it's okay." Minhyuk quickly tugged a smile on his face, something sad and forced, squeezing Jooheon's arm reassuringly in his embrace. "It is hard. And scary. But I rather think about how this is where I learned to take care of myself, and where Hoseok found me. So, I'm happy to be back."

Hoseok patted him, beaming at the way Minhyuk shot him a smile over his shoulder. "Me too."

"And I'm glad you're here with us," Minhyuk added. His fingers grazed the bruise on Jooheon's cheek, lightly stroking his skin with the pads of his fingers circling the deep dimple in his cheek as if it's fragile.

Jooheon could kiss him if he wanted to.

"I wish," he breathed, lips twitching with Hoseok's arm circling around his waist, cuddling his smaller frame into his torso, "I could show you my feelings the way that I want."

"It's okay to just show us, Jooheonie," Hoseok told him, eyes gleaming at him with a darkness that reminded him of a bright night sky. "Any way you can is okay."

The thought terrified him. He wasn't sure if he could let himself be close to anyone without the underlying fear of being hurt.

He envied people who so easily could. People like Minhyuk, people like Hoseok, who poured their affection to each other like it was nothing. Who took Jooheon in with no second thoughts, kept him safe.

His heart ached to reciprocate it. He wanted to pour out all the affection he had pent inside of himself. He wanted to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he wasn't quite sure how.

Jooheon lifted his hand, hesitant and slow, watching his fingers as if it wasn't him who they belonged to. He felt like he was back in their other hotel room as Minhyuk and Hoseok slept, unsure of himself as he snuggled into Hoseok's back, just wanting to be close to them.

He wasn't sure how to show them his feelings the way he wanted, as quickly, as easily as he wanted. But at least he thought he could try to show it. He  _knew_  that he could try to show it.

Jooheon rested his hand on Hoseok's cheek. He could feel him thumbing at his hipbone, soothing him. Always so gentle and patient, letting Jooheon trace his thumb over the plump shape of his lips. 

"This is okay?" Jooheon whispered.

A small smile curled at Hoseok's pink mouth where the smaller boy's finger rested. "It's okay."

And Jooheon kissed him before he could have the chance to stop himself. It wasn't like Jooheon hadn't thought of this, picturing his lips slipping over Hoseok's, pulling him in close, wanting to be closer and closer to him, as close as he could.

Hoseok's thumb was still at his hip, rubbing in gentle and fond, soft circles that Jooheon could lose himself in. It was so easy to melt into him, envelope himself in the taste of coffee, the sweet scent pressed against his chest.

"Good?" Hoseok asked when he pulled away. His lips faintly shined, tugged into a smile that left Jooheon speechless. There seemed to be no air left in his lungs, no words to escape his lips.

Jooheon nodded. "Good."

Minhyuk was impatient beside him, something expected from him. He nosed at Jooheon's jawline from the other side of the bed, wordlessly begging for some sort of attention from Jooheon that he easily gave. Big, desperate eyes looked at him, fervent and happy.

"Hi," Minhyuk chuckled, and there was something so mesmerizing about it. 

Jooheon left his hesitance from before. Their lips brushed, finding their place, until Minhyuk's pretty mouth slotted over his with long fingers curling at the nape of his neck. There was more of a roughness in the way Minhyuk kissed, hungry and eager, but Jooheon still drank it in. He easily let Minhyuk guide him, easily let him pull him close and choose the pace of their lips.

This was so new to Jooheon. All of it. Something so different and unlike him. The most excitement and happiness he had ever found in something. Probably the most feelings he's ever had, ever let himself show.

"You're so pretty," Minhyuk told him. Their noses brushed, a smile licking over his lips. Jooheon stared. Wanting to lean in and kiss him again. Wanting to show him the warmth that flowed all the way from his heart to his fingertips as well as he could. "Is it embarrassing for me to say that?"

"Yes," Jooheon nodded.

Hoseok and Minhyuk let out breathy laughs. Minhyuk lightly squeezed him in his arms, tugging him in close to his chest and dragging Hoseok in to embrace them. He easily engulfed the two boys in his burly arms. Warm chest pressed to Jooheon's back, smile nestled in his hair.

"Well get used to it," Minhyuk said, kissing the words at the top of his fringe, "because you're going to hear it all the time."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cool air swept in a frigid gust of wind as Hoseok scurried up the steps to brightness from the subway, reaching for Minhyuk's outstretched hand with a shivering smile.

Only a day before, the city was sprinkled in white melted over like a blanket of cream shaken up in a large snow globe. Now it was just mush taking up space, blackening and hardening into something hideous. Hoseok still wasn't sure how Minhyuk had fallen so deeply in love with this place. But, well, he didn't hate it here. Not yet, anyway.

It felt good belonging somewhere. Becoming familiar with a place, making it his own and unpacking his things one-by-one. Shoving away suitcases into a tight closet he never intended on seeing or touching ever again.

He wasn't sure if this is where he wanted to stay forever. He wasn't sure if this was exactly the life he wanted, if whether or not he was okay with things just  _being_  and never changing.

But he was content with it, and that was the most he's felt about anywhere he's been in a while. He was content with having a fixed life, something easy and unmoving. Maybe he imagined them in a place quieter and slower, but this is just what worked for them. Hoseok didn't want to change that any time soon.

Hoseok curled his arm around Minhyuk's shoulders, tugging him into his side. "I love you."

Minhyuk smiled. "What do you want?"

"I don't want anything!" he laughed. The younger boy just looked at him before quickening his steps. He had such a natural city stride. Hoseok felt as if he was being dragged along, jogging just to keep up. "What? Do I have to want something to tell my boyfriend that I love him?"

"Sometimes."

"No."

A smile tugged on his lips again. He fondly scrunched his nose at him. "I love you, too, baby."

Their space was a small apartment on the seventh floor of a brown and white building that stretched across the street. Hoseok supposed they could've shot for something bigger and fancier, maybe off where it isn't too close to the noise of the city and more than just skinny trees growing. But he liked it here. It felt simple, in a way, with its plain off-white walls and faintly scuffed hardwood floors. Something they could easily plant themselves in and make their own.

A sofa took up most of the living room that faced a small flat-screen, a mountain of Marvel and DC DVDs surrounding it with tiny superhero figurines bordering it. A mess was made of their living room, simply because they were awful with getting around to cleaning, and Minhyuk still hadn't learned to place his dishes in the sink after using them.

The bed in their room wasn't any better. Sheets jumbled and wrinkled with a giant, fluffy duvet like the fur of a cat Hoseok always loved seeing Minhyuk snuggled in in the early morning, orange sunlight painting over his tan skin, gleaming over him in a way that only natural light could.

Snowball, the white Pomeranian puppy they had helplessly fallen in love with from first glance, was instantly at their feet. She circled around their shoes with excited barks, pawing at Minhyuk's legs like it had been weeks since she last seen him.

"Hi, sweet girl," Minhyuk cooed, scooping her up in his arms. Her fluffy, curled tail waved happily as she was smothered with kisses and pats. He was the favorite of Snowball, obviously. Hoseok was vaguely in existence when Minhyuk was in sight, unless she was enticed by the presence of food. But, either way, Hoseok had a Snowball of his own.

Another fluff of white peered from the room with a bright smile and happy, squinted eyes. Hoseok drew Jooheon into his arms and peppered him with kisses just the same, over his white hair, his eyelids and lips. Jooheon accepted them graciously with closed eyes and a content smile tugged on his lips.

"My baby, I missed you," Hoseok murmured against his mouth.

Jooheon smiled, arms wrapping around Hoseok's neck and letting him twirl the two of them around, giggling into his hair like a child. "We saw each other this morning."

"Not long enough," Hoseok claimed. He kissed him again, hand cupped at his chin, and Jooheon smiled into his lips like he always does. Radiating with a warmth and happiness that Hoseok could only bask in.

"You guys never miss me that much," Minhyuk pouted, playfully. He set Snowball on the floor to scurry off on the sofa where she usually waited for Minhyuk, and his boyfriends were on him instantly. Clinging onto the tall boy with tight hugs and kisses full of giggles and smiles, ignoring Minhyuk's squirms and grunts of disapproval. "You guys ― one day I'm going to leave you."

"No, you won't," Hoseok told him.

Jooheon clung onto Minhyuk's back, squeezing him tightly in his arms with a teasing, dimpled smile. "You're going nowhere, Minnie."

They were right, of course. Minhyuk only smiled, dragging Jooheon along with him to the living room where he was playing another Marvel film. Quickly, Jooheon's life had become solely of curling on the couch with Snowball snuggled against him, watching action films and eating excessive amounts of mac n' cheese.

Minhyuk envied all his free time, but, then again, it had secretly been a dream of his own to have a job again. Like a normal person. He missed the way having responsibilities and working around other people felt. At least he could sit around the house and eat loads of mac n' cheese on the weekends. With his peach rings, of course.

Jooheon and Minhyuk curled up on the sofa with Snowball nestled in between them, and Hoseok naturally snuggled beside them after tugging his scarf and coat off.

His arms wrapped around them like he knew how, pressing a kiss to the peek of forehead underneath Minhyuk's hair and smoothing a hand over the goosebumps on Jooheon's arms. 

"Do I tell you that I love you enough?" Hoseok asked the both of them. He squished Minhyuk into his chest, pushing his chin into a headful of blond hair. "Because I love you a lot, and I want to make sure you both know."

Minhyuk let out a laugh, murmuring to Jooheon over his shoulder, "He's been all sappy since we got on the subway."

"Ah," Jooheon chuckled, "is this about some chronic illness you've been keeping from us? This is such an awkward time to say that you're about to die."

A dramatic sigh escaped Hoseok's lips. "I'm sorry. I only have two months left."

"Shut up." Minhyuk playfully hit him in the chest, laughter thumping through their small apartment before they fell into a small silence. A few heartbeats of absorbing the feeling of being together, Hoseok playing with Minhyuk's long fingers, spacing them out and pushing them together again.

"Don't worry," Jooheon said, suddenly. He patted a hand to Hoseok's thigh, squeezing it lightly. "We'll always know that you love us."

"Yeah?"

Minhyuk rubbed the hard muscle between his neck and shoulder, absently massaging it. "Of course."

Hoseok smiled at him―at them―and it made Minhyuk feel whole, as everything that was Hoseok.

And Minhyuk thought to himself for a fleeting moment how different things would be if they had met in a another universe, as different people. If Minhyuk was just a college student who stumbled into a library to Hoseok's sparkling, dark eyes and infectious laugh that tingled every nerve in his body, shared an overpriced mocha frappe at a campus cafe with caramel, dimpled cheeks and hesitant, loving fingers.

Something simple, something ordinary and expected. Something  _normal ―_

But he wasn't too fond of normal.

He was okay with  _this_ , happy, even, and happy was good.

Minhyuk fluttered his eyes closed, head resting on Jooheon's with Hoseok still absently playing with his fingers. A smile licking over his lips with his two boys clung onto him like tiny koalas, with little Snowball still snuggled with them, tail fluttering all happy and vigorous just like Minhyuk's heart.

And he hoped that in another universe, things were exactly the same.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](https://nottechae.tumblr.com) !! i fucking love talking to you guys :/// thank you for being patient w my lazy ass and reading my long ass fics lmao mbbs are undeniably the best


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